RECIPE HORSE

Some women are Clothes Horses, they obsess over having clothes and the variety of clothes. I have become a Recipe Horse. I kind of hate cooking, I kind of hate looking through endless recipes in cookbooks, but I started a new fetish out of mere necessity of being gluten free.

This weekend is going through two things in my house (since it is bad weather), one, my closest, since I haven't had time to keep up on the maintenance of my clothes and the weather has turned cold, I need to go through it and check to see what I have to wear for the winter, plus discard all of my old clothes to good will. Two, my recipe folders. I truly need to go through it and throw away recipes that I have collected, either the ones I have tried and they were bad, or I haven't tried and they just need to go away.

I have also become frugal, not to the point that I couldn't throw away old food, but I feel so bad that I wasn't paying enough attention in my kitchen to either eat the food I made or at least save it in the freezer. I had a huge freezer once and it turned into the freezer burn Mecca of my cooking kitchen. I learned having a huge freezer is subconsciously waisting food that you don't pay attention to. It is like having a file box that you use but never do the filing. Everything gets lost and then obsolete or misplaced. No one should have either one.

We have two fridges. If I ever build again, I will definitely have two fridges and two ovens, plus a warming tray in my kitchen. Two dishwashers sound really good too, but sort of impracticable for two people. An installed deep fryer sound pretty good too. Back to the fridges. We have two fridges that have a third of the appliance as a freezer. I try to cook and shop to keep a good supply of meats and baked goods in case I need them. You never know when someone is going to drop by and you need to entertain. But they are small enough that I tried to go through the entire freezer before I start stocking it again. It's amazing the cookie dough that gets placed in the back, or the appetizers someone brought to your last party that never got ate.

Okay, okay, back to the recipe thing... A friend of mine told me once she was having the same problem so she will think of an ingredient that's in her fridge, google only the ingredient in some of these recipe sites and it will pull everything you can make with that one ingredient. Since my necessity and frugality have hit a crossroads, this has become a new thing everyday at work. I think I have a quart of cream I bought out of thinking that sounds really cool to have in your fridge, and then truly what do you do with heavy whipping cream. It's amazing how many things cream goes in once you start googling it. This weekend is corn tortillas. I absolutely hate throwing out old tortillas, guess what TORTILLA SOUP.

The moral of this story, don't get carried away with recipes due to one ingredient sitting in your fridge that will end up in your freezer with freezer burn on it, because you are going to have to throw it away in six months anyway.

The Freezer's End.

It's o-Kay

I talked in a blog a few back of a friend that became sick with cancer. Her friends were told about a month ago that she had cancer, but some of us were under the assumption she would have more time than a month. She died on Friday, 7:30 a.m. from a very aggressive cancer. This blog is about me being sick and how I am relating to it so I don't really want to stay on the subject of my friend's cancer. I don't even want to reflect on my own ailments. I just want to make a tribute to a dear friend that I have lost.

When you go through something like this, for some reason it really doesn't matter what anyone else has gone through, they might relate, but death is such a personal issue to each one of us, and it hurts. I feel bad that I won't see her smile and be able to talk to her. I feel bad that I didn't say enough while she was still alive. That I took so much for granted. I knew the day would come that one of us six would get sick and die, I am just not ready for it to happen so young and so early.

This woman was 59 years old, not old enough to die and surely not old enough for me to let her go. She was a perfect friend. Not only was she there to help answer questions, but she knew the right questions to ask. She always showed up with a smile on her face no matter what her problem was that week. She was not only a super friend she was a super human being. She had the kindest heart. She was a good employee to all of her bosses. Not only was she super to me, but her family was her life and she would do anything for them. She has lived through a lot in her life, but always had her chin held high but not high enough to not do anything for anyone.

I too have gone through a lot, but as I was mourning my lose, her personality kept resonating through my thoughts and I kept hearing myself say this pain will go away and I will be o-kay one day. I will get use to not having her around and she will be a really good memory and not as much hurt. It will be o-kay. Did I say her name was "Kay."

There aren't many like you Kay and I will surely miss you. Until we see each other again, thank you for the memories.

Husbands

When you put a husband and wife together, you truly have to remember that they came from separate lifestyles and worlds. My husband, as sweet as he is, does have his drawbacks. His mother (heaven forbid that I would bring up his mother's name) was raised off of the farm. The food they had is what they grew, so spices and incorporating different elements into a dish was not heard of. He became the posterchild for meat and potatoes. Anything different he scoffs at.

Now then there is me, I also came not essentially from a farm, but my mother never learned how to cook so we too did not incorporate too many spices into our cooking. But over many years and experiences I have learned good cooking takes incorporating a lot of ideas: spices, cooking procedures, and so on.

Now what unnerves me is, my husband and I do travel together, we don't do extensive traveling, but for either business or other personal reasons we have stayed in a variety of B&Bs, we have gone to fine restaurants, we have pretty much run the gambit of fine dining. Every time we do go into one of these establishments, and especially in front of other people, my husband will sit there rant and rave about how good the food is. I wonder if he does it just so that his money is worth more than just the food.

Since I became celiac, my whole life has turned upside down. The unusual is now my normal. I cannot go into any restaurants and just order anything because it might have flour in it. My husband is highly sensitive to this as well. As you can see he immediately told me to get all flour out of the house. So for me to eat out it is not the impossible, it is just the complicated that I don't really want to deal with.

So day in and day out I search for good and easy recipes that both I can eat and my husband can enjoy. Now mind you when I said his Mom cooked off the farm, well obviously she taught him not to say anything once he finished a meal in less than 10 min. I wonder if he thinks I am his mother.

So for example, after all day searching for a recipe while I am working, I run to the grocery store, spend $100 that I don't have readily available, run home, throw it together as fast I can so not to inconvenience my husband's eating timetable, (mind you he doesn't help in the kitchen), put it in front of him after he keeps asking is it done yet, watch him gulp it down and then leave his dirty dish on the counter on top of the dishwasher which he could have put it in, walk out and barely get the words out "thanks for dinner." He did respond as I am doing a s___ load of dishes in the sink, "are you going to eat." Now what part of this did I not get the impression he thought the wonderful, very delectable homemade tomato soup that I just put together, wasn't Campbell's soup out of the can!!

Husbands.

It is so good that I am really doing this for myself, and he happens to be reaping the benefits of at least having his belly full.

How Sick Are You Really

Well after a summer full of traveling, eating and drinking in weird places, my stomach has taken a toll. It is not so much the celiac that is the problem, I believe it is the food that is full of fiber that I shouldn't eat that creates havoc with my stomach.

Just recently a good friend of 35 years was just diagnosed with cancer. I have lived with cancer in my family and all around me, but not as close as this one has taken. You expect your parents to die and so when my mother contracted lung cancer, I just thought it was the evolution of life. But when a good friend of mine does, even though she is about 7 years older than me, I realize how unstable life can be and it could have happened to me.

Yes she did smoke, yes she definitely over ate (like the rest of us), and yes no exercise. One minute I would see her at lunch vibrant and within a couple of weeks, she looked so sick and withered it was a shock. There is hope that she will recover, I guess there is always hope as long as you are alive, but I fear the worst when the doctors told her that it is in her bones, lymph nodes, and in her lungs.

I don't smoke, but with the new outstanding problems that I have, I truly need to start taking care of myself. I know I will die one day, and I am truly not afraid of it, but I guess the withering and being so sick really bothers me. I would rather be hit by a car, struck by lightening or some instantaneous means of dying than lying in a bed with very little hope and the eventual death, while my family and friends watch me wither away.

There is a good side to lingering, you do get to say your goodbyes, but is there a justice there while your appearance and your behavior is deteriorating your family and friends really want to remember you that way. I don't know I guess I will just have to leave it up to God.

A psychic told me once that I will live to be 80, so that is what I am planning on.

The World Is Evolving Around The Stars

I know I have complained for several months now, but after traveling again for another weekend, and now to San Francisco, I realized that restaurants are becoming more and more aware of the allergic reactions to people's eating habits.

The movie stars do have a definite say in things. It seems the new thing for them is going gluten free. For a long time now vegans have had a say in menus, but now since the movie stars are going gluten free, then everywhere you go, it seems they have a gluten free menu. It is sad that so many common people have had to suffer and it takes a movie star to bring it to the world's attention.

We never had a problem of asking waitors if certain items had flour or gluten in them. Even if they don't have a menu, they all seemed willing to try to figure it out.

Beyond making movies that I love watching, thank goodness to the movie stars and their efforts to this issue.