Mother's Day is just days away and every year so many mothers dread the day. You ask why, children come with gifts, media outwardly celebrate, husbands may or may not bring flowers, so you ask why? Celebrating mothers do not give us a relief of the great accomplishments we have, it gives us a reminder of those things that we haven't done, the insecurities of what we should have done, and what the future may hold for what will need to be done.
My sweet daughter that is basically just starting out in life has realized that maybe even though I look pretty happy every day I have had my share of anxiety, depression, and uncertainties in life. There is happiness in all of us if we look deep enough especially when we are low. When it comes to Mother's Day it reminds us of those moments that may have not made ourselves or our family happy.
My son is about to go into the Army on Mother's Day, how apropos, seriously. I am so happy that he has found something that he wants to make a career out of. There is never a question of the happiness a mother feels when a child realizes his potential, but in the same way you fear the things he should be afraid for. Knowing he is going into an area that won't be hostile still does not give me peace of mind, what about boot camp, what about the men around him, what about all the unknowns. That is what a Mom truly thinks about, not the temporary or long term happiness he might find.
My daughter is going through the struggles of marriage, her future and just basic life. I see so much potential, and things that she can't or won't see. What is that Moms say, it was bad enough that I went through life and the trials it had to offer, little alone the life my children are going through. You cry doubly hard when your child is crying, you fear when your child is uncertain, you pray harder when your child is feeling pain.
My other daughter in spite of having the best four children in the world, that can't be a grandmother talking, still has financial, medical, spiritual and physical problems. I use to say when my kids are on their own, then they can worry about their own problems, their children problems and I can take a rest. You don't, again you worry twice or three times as hard.
As a mother, grandmother, and wife, you hold so much back because to convey these fears to your children, just exasperates their fears, a mother wouldn't do that. So you hold so much in silence and hope that life treats them better than it did to you. That even though you may be the happiest you have ever been, it still allows the past to creep in of your own memories of growing.
A good friend told me the other day, "a mother's happiness is as happy as your saddest child." It is so true.
This does sound like the saddest Mother's Day tribute, but in reality sometimes things needs to be said so those around you can relate and feel that they aren't the only ones that feel this way.
I do hope that Mother's Day will be good this year. I do hope those mothers including my own daughters will be happier than I am anticipating and if not we can commiserate together. Cheers to womanhood and mothers.
