I have a friend that died the other day at the age of 90. The older I get the younger 90 seems. I was lucky to see her after many years on her birthday. When I went to her birthday party I was so astonished that not very many people showed up for it. So many people in my own workplace had commented of how she made them laugh and how nice she was. I thought surely with all these comments that more people would have showed up.
I realized in going to her funeral that I really didn't know this person at all. In all the times we sat down to have lunch and talk she never really was proud enough to tout her own achievements to me. In listening to the speakers' talks I realized also that she was a great listerner and a great problem solver for others. I soon realized that she didn't take pride in her accomplishments but she was actually helping me to solve my day to day problems in life during those lunchs.
I felt bad that I hadn't taken the time to know her, to know that she was a great play director, that she knew most of the governors of our fine state by first name, that she traveled the world, that she painted not just a few paintings but a lot of paintings.
I realized that when you become retired and out of the mainstream of life that people either die off around you, or you are so soon forgotten. She touched so many people's lives in so many ways and even though she had been pretty much housebound for many years, those people that were still alive didn't feel it sufficient to attend her funeral. It was very sad.
The funeral was beautiful, the music was the best I had ever heard in a funeral. The talks were well played out. I couldn't feel sad for losing her though. For some reason I knew her, like the talks stated, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye and a joke at every turn. I felt, like her son said, don't be sad or cry for her because she would have rather passed with a joke and have you laughing. I don't think I have ever gone to a funeral and smiling through the entire thing. It was a good day for her and me.
Was I good friend to her, probably not, but I allowed her to be my friend and part of my memories and that was good for me. Thank you dear friend.
