Okay it has been a year since I started going gluten and fiber free. Happy Year to me. I have gone through the stages of death to food.
First denial, this truly can not be happening to me. I have aged to what and never new I couldn't eat certain food.
Second, anger, oh was I mad, especially when I left the store the first time in not being able to negotiate even buying my groceries. I was pissed.
Third, negotiating, I thought surely this doesn't mean everything that the doctor is saying, oh boy did I get in trouble when I started eating the wrong foods.
Fourth, depression, everytime there was a party, or an event at work, I would get really depressed that I would never be able to eat the foods I loved again.
Fifth, acceptance, yes it has taken me almost a year to accept this situation and now I understand it, I accept it. Do I trip up and have flour every once in awhile, you bet, but I always regret it. Do I eat fiber when I know it is going to hurt me, yes, and now I have learned.
I think the hardest and the most unaccepting was the fiber free. I knew I sort of did this to myself, by unknowingly taking tylenol too much. I thought I was safe and I really didn't have an idea that I was ruining my stomach. At one point I could eat anything and I felt really lucky I didn't have allergies or any other thing stopping what I really wanted in food. Now if I had only known would I have done anything different, I don't think anyone does anything different, I believe all of us feel we are immuned to it as long as we don't hurt, at that point it is way too late.
This year has been more of a negotiating, like I said until it hurts us. Since I knew I couldn't eat flour, I negotiated by eating too much with fiber in my stomach that it wouldn't take it. Several times during the year I find myself going back to square one of no fiber in the diet when my stomach would hurt way too much and I knew I was just hurting myself, but I thought if I gave up flour I need something, there goes that negotiation again.
When I was so sick I had lost about 20 lbs. and felt really good in my clothes and just my all around health even though I really wasn't eating anything. Once I went off of flour I started, again negotiating, if I can't have cakes and cookies, I can have candy, and oh did I eat candy. I have gained back that 20 lbs. and more and now regret every bite.
St. Patrick's Day is my funniest holiday. You don't have to do anything, but enjoy it. Good food, good drinks and just a celebration of friends and fun. Will I be eating cornbeef and cabbage, probably not the cabbage and a mild serving of cornbeef. You can negotiate your life to be better or feel sick, and I have chosen to feel better. Happy St. Patrick's Day to all my friends and family and enjoy all the good things in life as long as it doesn't hurt you.
