I have to laugh when I think of that word, is it a good word or a bad word. I am not quite sure, but I will tell you when you live in a semi-wealthy tourist city, you realize that people who have been raised with the silver spoon in their mouth or anyone near them think they are entitled.
The other day I was driving up through the canyon to go home, it is snowy, dark and cold and I come across this car that had no back lights on. So I do my thing, honk, flash the brights, turn on my turn signal and this goes on for several miles. Finally after trying to juggle the snow myself and winding down the window several times, I get their attention and pull the car over. I realize they are from out of town in a rental car with the license plate of Montana, if you don't know how to run your car in the snow, I doubt they are from Montana. Now am I really thinking of anyone else other than their safety at this point, no.
When I finally get to talk to them, I say "your back lights are not on," and the lady passenger said, "oh we know, we have been trying to find out how to turn them on." Now seriously, if you know you have a problem on problem roads wouldn't you be thinking not of your own inconvenience but those people on the road that you are endangering, get off and figure it out.
Soon thereafter my son that lives in this same town with us puts on his facebook, that he almost killed someone that was out jogging in the dark snowy morning not on the sidewalk, not off the side of the road, but in the middle of the road without any colored warning clothing.
Now people, even if you have all the money in the world and could probably fix whatever problem that you can create, and you feel entitled to do so, think of other people other than yourself.
The freeway is like a whole new truth in how people really are. If you can't drive down a huge freeway from a mountain resort town, you shouldn't be here. I am driving to work, again in the dark, cold and snowy morning, at 75 mph (yes I was speeding) and come across a car just past a main entrance to the freeway. I realize his dome light is on, I don't think anything of it so I really don't take the time to think is this guy doing anything wrong. When I come up to his driver door, I realize the dome light is for his convenience so he can read a book, no not a map, no not texting like we complain all these texters are doing, he is reading a full on book. At that point I said I should have taken the time to do something about this, who knows who will endanger going at that speed.
We have been living in this town for 10 years, love it, love the atmosphere, but just like that word Entitlement, Atmosphere can also have a demeaning connotation. You can sit on your deck and enjoy the view and atmosphere or you can go to town and deal with atmosphere of those that think they are entitled. Even if you can afford the wreck you might create more emotional and phsycial damage than anyone can ever afford.
P.S. If I am going to juggle snow with idiots, I am going to start taking pictures of the license plate and posting them and their idiot ways. Be looking for future pictures.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
GROWING UP
They just announced that Hostess is liquidating. My first temptation was to go to the nearest store and buy up everything that I possibly could get in my freezer and hoard!!!! No more Ding Dongs, no more Twinkies, no more cupcakes, no more donuts for breakfast.
Now if you have had anything to do with my blog you will realize that I have Celiac disease. Someone with this disease should know better. But if you will recall in one of my first blogs, I listed everything off that I would miss and one of them was having a diet coke and hostess donut in the morning. Yes I did cut back when the doctor said no more, but for some reason I felt the need about every week at least once to have some of those coconut cinnamon donuts on my way to work along with my diet Coke/Pepsi straight out of the machine. It usually didn't make me happy in the end, but it was great going down.
I sometimes hate corporate America, it takes the childhood out of all of us. I remember when Tab went off the market, everyone was buying them as fast they could and it was sad day when your last can was drank.
I saw a news real on Bevin Bros. who are the bell making company out of Belltown, Connecticut that supplies all of us with small to large bells each year for Christmas. They are the ones that have been supplying bells to the Salvation Army for years. They have been in business for 130 years. They were hit by lightening this last year and the whole factory went up in flames. Now Matt Bevin said on this that he would never seize to give up making bells and still has some of the employees working for him in makeshift factory to supply those bells this year. You hear these stories of how a President of a company losing money would rather cut back certain benefits or money to keep his employees employed.
I am sure there is a lot more to this story than just keeping people employed, the greed of many will take down everything. I defended against the Canadians of how many chemicals and preservatives were in them. I didn't care as long as it preserved not just my body, but my childhood.
I think of my obsession of peeling food came from Hostess. I would slowly take the frosting of the cupcake off. Slowly eat the cake to finally getting to the cream and then eat the frosting up to the white curlycues and then finish it off in eating them last. The Ding Dongs weren't just ate quickly, it was slowly peeled hopefully in large chucks of chocolate and then I would eat the cake and then finish it off eating the chocolate. The pies were only purchased for a treat when I went on field trips, no more field trips. The Twinkies what can you say about a Twinkie other than every child ate them and I even made a wedding cake out of them for my daughter's husband. And of course the best for last, everyone was raised on the Hostess white bread. It was soft and the taste lingered while it stuck to your teeth.
I am sad and I don't want Hostess' grownups to make stupid decisions to offend your memories.
Now if you have had anything to do with my blog you will realize that I have Celiac disease. Someone with this disease should know better. But if you will recall in one of my first blogs, I listed everything off that I would miss and one of them was having a diet coke and hostess donut in the morning. Yes I did cut back when the doctor said no more, but for some reason I felt the need about every week at least once to have some of those coconut cinnamon donuts on my way to work along with my diet Coke/Pepsi straight out of the machine. It usually didn't make me happy in the end, but it was great going down.
I sometimes hate corporate America, it takes the childhood out of all of us. I remember when Tab went off the market, everyone was buying them as fast they could and it was sad day when your last can was drank.
I saw a news real on Bevin Bros. who are the bell making company out of Belltown, Connecticut that supplies all of us with small to large bells each year for Christmas. They are the ones that have been supplying bells to the Salvation Army for years. They have been in business for 130 years. They were hit by lightening this last year and the whole factory went up in flames. Now Matt Bevin said on this that he would never seize to give up making bells and still has some of the employees working for him in makeshift factory to supply those bells this year. You hear these stories of how a President of a company losing money would rather cut back certain benefits or money to keep his employees employed.
I am sure there is a lot more to this story than just keeping people employed, the greed of many will take down everything. I defended against the Canadians of how many chemicals and preservatives were in them. I didn't care as long as it preserved not just my body, but my childhood.
I think of my obsession of peeling food came from Hostess. I would slowly take the frosting of the cupcake off. Slowly eat the cake to finally getting to the cream and then eat the frosting up to the white curlycues and then finish it off in eating them last. The Ding Dongs weren't just ate quickly, it was slowly peeled hopefully in large chucks of chocolate and then I would eat the cake and then finish it off eating the chocolate. The pies were only purchased for a treat when I went on field trips, no more field trips. The Twinkies what can you say about a Twinkie other than every child ate them and I even made a wedding cake out of them for my daughter's husband. And of course the best for last, everyone was raised on the Hostess white bread. It was soft and the taste lingered while it stuck to your teeth.
I am sad and I don't want Hostess' grownups to make stupid decisions to offend your memories.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The People Behind Me
For years now I have wondered about my genealogy. I am not into investigating my history with names and dates, but more along the lines of actual stories. I talked with my family members in somewhat detail in trying to get something out of them. For some reason ITS A BIG SECRET. I know this sounds stupid but it is almost like pulling teeth when you ask about it. They make you feel that they did the work, so now you need to. NOT.
So after a few discussions I decided to get on Ancestry.com. I was curious and no one was going to ease that curiosity other than me. As soon as I started entering in names, other names and information started popping up. I couldn't go fast enough. I didn't have enough time in the day. I realized that someone had to put this information in beyond me, cause all I was doing was linking people to information that was already put in. I had not done any research.
A friend of mine was doing her genealogy at the same time I was and so we would compare notes periodically. She would look at me with forelorn (do you like that word, it reminds of days gone past). She had not found even close to the links I had. I really have to contribute my genealogy to those individuals somewhere in the tree that had done their research and had put a lot of information in some database. Beyond those individuals I am sure there are institutions, historians, and religions that have inputted information of what they have in their deep dark chasms.
Yes I will be the one that lets out the information to anyone that wants to know, I am a g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-daughter of Henry VIII. I know it is hard to believe. I am also a decedent of all the kings and queens from every country possible in Europe from Denmark, Sweden to Turkey. I am also a decedent of the pilot and doctor of the Mayflower. I even found my way all the way to Adam and Eve (twice), now I don't know where you came from, at least I know I came from Adam and Eve. It's these kinds of stories that intrigue me.
It was hard to comprehend this entire thing when so many names came up. I will never know all of their stories. I will never understand how I was the great something grand daughter of a king, and now I am a pauper. I don't even get that concept.
I have to laugh sometimes when I will see a private ancestry line and you have to email them to ask for information. The one time I did that they sent me information I did not know about my own grandmother. You feel so personally offended when someone has information about your own grandmother that you don't have, but then you realize that if my grandmother had 12 children (10 lived) with how many of them had 4-10 children and how many of them had 4-10, there is a lot of people that you are related to right now living that you don't even know. When you think of it in that way, this world seems so small and so large at the same time.
Now since I know my ancestry is linked with so many known individuals, I look at history in a whole different way.
I am so grateful to so many that really did this research, and that enjoyed sharing. That is what Ancestry.Com is all about or any other genealogy site, is sharing.
So after a few discussions I decided to get on Ancestry.com. I was curious and no one was going to ease that curiosity other than me. As soon as I started entering in names, other names and information started popping up. I couldn't go fast enough. I didn't have enough time in the day. I realized that someone had to put this information in beyond me, cause all I was doing was linking people to information that was already put in. I had not done any research.
A friend of mine was doing her genealogy at the same time I was and so we would compare notes periodically. She would look at me with forelorn (do you like that word, it reminds of days gone past). She had not found even close to the links I had. I really have to contribute my genealogy to those individuals somewhere in the tree that had done their research and had put a lot of information in some database. Beyond those individuals I am sure there are institutions, historians, and religions that have inputted information of what they have in their deep dark chasms.
Yes I will be the one that lets out the information to anyone that wants to know, I am a g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-daughter of Henry VIII. I know it is hard to believe. I am also a decedent of all the kings and queens from every country possible in Europe from Denmark, Sweden to Turkey. I am also a decedent of the pilot and doctor of the Mayflower. I even found my way all the way to Adam and Eve (twice), now I don't know where you came from, at least I know I came from Adam and Eve. It's these kinds of stories that intrigue me.
It was hard to comprehend this entire thing when so many names came up. I will never know all of their stories. I will never understand how I was the great something grand daughter of a king, and now I am a pauper. I don't even get that concept.
I have to laugh sometimes when I will see a private ancestry line and you have to email them to ask for information. The one time I did that they sent me information I did not know about my own grandmother. You feel so personally offended when someone has information about your own grandmother that you don't have, but then you realize that if my grandmother had 12 children (10 lived) with how many of them had 4-10 children and how many of them had 4-10, there is a lot of people that you are related to right now living that you don't even know. When you think of it in that way, this world seems so small and so large at the same time.
Now since I know my ancestry is linked with so many known individuals, I look at history in a whole different way.
I am so grateful to so many that really did this research, and that enjoyed sharing. That is what Ancestry.Com is all about or any other genealogy site, is sharing.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Naive Perspective
This last year has taken a toll not only on my body, but also on my mind. In sitting around in pain, I think what is important to me, what can I live without, what can I leave behind. I sort of started with the basics because that was the thing that was most evident. Is it really necessary to clean that room this weekend? Is it really necessary to take that trip? Do I really want to do that activity when I can make more memories doing this? I got a quick jolt of this during this last weekend's events.
This year has been one of the worst dry years we have had. Anything could ignite a fire because everywhere there is dry grass and dry weeds. This state has had many fires from small ones to extreme large ones.
In the middle of a visit from my daughters and their kids this Saturday, we were just having lunch and we looked up and noticed there was smoke across the lake in the brush. So we sat there for a minute and watched the smoke turn into a full on forest fire.
After talking with my husband he said "oh that fire won't get out of control, they will have it put it out before it reaches us." Well when the flames started getting higher and higher I soon realized that it was better to be prepared than sorry. I had to quickly analyze what was important to me to pack up and get out. So I jumped up and started hauling things out to the car. With the great help of daughters and an hour later most of the car was packed with only my memories. All my photos and journals, were put safe in a car that I could drive off. I thought how do these people do it when they only have 5 min.
Somewhere in the act of the three of us flying all over the house, my grandboys said grandma we need to get the baby pictures out of the house. Well the baby photos can be reproduced by their moms, but I saw in their eyes this great concern that their memories would be wiped out by the fire as well.
The last thing to get in my car was a Russian stacking doll that I had received from a friend a couple years back. My grandson came up to me and said "you can't forget this," it is his favorite toy. I soon realized that it wasn't just my memories that I was concerned about it was the good memories that my grandkids would lose if the fire came close.
My daughter the next day was relaying memories that she had at her grandparents house, of the good things that each grandmother made for food or the things she remembers of her grandfathers. She asked "mom what do you think my kids will remember after you have passed." She started relaying the waffles and berry syrup that I make every time my grandkids show up at the house or the Jacuzzi that my husband lets the kids get into on every visit.
In thinking of the day before, I thought the reason why three women were running through the house was to save the memories I would cry over if I lost them in a fire. The memories weren't just for me, but the memories I could pass onto my kids and to their kids. That the Russian doll would be replaced by a photo or a journal of their grandmother that made them waffles and berry syrup. Grandkids always put it in perspective.
This year has been one of the worst dry years we have had. Anything could ignite a fire because everywhere there is dry grass and dry weeds. This state has had many fires from small ones to extreme large ones.
In the middle of a visit from my daughters and their kids this Saturday, we were just having lunch and we looked up and noticed there was smoke across the lake in the brush. So we sat there for a minute and watched the smoke turn into a full on forest fire.
After talking with my husband he said "oh that fire won't get out of control, they will have it put it out before it reaches us." Well when the flames started getting higher and higher I soon realized that it was better to be prepared than sorry. I had to quickly analyze what was important to me to pack up and get out. So I jumped up and started hauling things out to the car. With the great help of daughters and an hour later most of the car was packed with only my memories. All my photos and journals, were put safe in a car that I could drive off. I thought how do these people do it when they only have 5 min.
Somewhere in the act of the three of us flying all over the house, my grandboys said grandma we need to get the baby pictures out of the house. Well the baby photos can be reproduced by their moms, but I saw in their eyes this great concern that their memories would be wiped out by the fire as well.
The last thing to get in my car was a Russian stacking doll that I had received from a friend a couple years back. My grandson came up to me and said "you can't forget this," it is his favorite toy. I soon realized that it wasn't just my memories that I was concerned about it was the good memories that my grandkids would lose if the fire came close.
My daughter the next day was relaying memories that she had at her grandparents house, of the good things that each grandmother made for food or the things she remembers of her grandfathers. She asked "mom what do you think my kids will remember after you have passed." She started relaying the waffles and berry syrup that I make every time my grandkids show up at the house or the Jacuzzi that my husband lets the kids get into on every visit.
In thinking of the day before, I thought the reason why three women were running through the house was to save the memories I would cry over if I lost them in a fire. The memories weren't just for me, but the memories I could pass onto my kids and to their kids. That the Russian doll would be replaced by a photo or a journal of their grandmother that made them waffles and berry syrup. Grandkids always put it in perspective.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Morning Peace
When people say "stop to smell the roses" I have to laugh because sometimes I think my life is so slow how can I not stop to smell the roses, the point is, I don't.
Almost every morning I get up, usually struggling in pain, but I at least get up and get in the car to go to work. On my way to work I drive through canyons that I have dearly loved all my life. When I start on my journey what greets me are hot air balloons. Sometimes the concept of smelling the roses is just the actual act of analysing the concept of why things are with yourself. I looked at those balloons and wondered why do they always make me happy.
Today I found the answer. There isn't a child that I have known that wasn't more excited about a balloon than the toys they may play with. Balloons are a concept of why does that balloon lift off and if I let go where will it land. The variety of colors can trigger the happy senses of anyone. Balloons were created for a variety of reasons to celebrating a birthday to actually inventing the blimp for football games.
I have flown in a small plane, a jet, I have jumped out of planes and even though you sort of get the concept of how this huge thing stays in the air, the mere volume of noise competes with your thought waves of what am I really doing up here. Hot air balloons allows you the peace, the silence and the time to allow those thoughts of why am I happy in this unbelievable understanding object to take me above the ground, above my real life, and above my problems.
My husband is afraid of planes, he will go in them, but he definitely does not like them. As childlike as my husband is, every morning when he sees the hot air balloons he screams through the house repetitively of the amount of balloons in the air. It brings us back to days of youth and folly.
The days when it is dark and gloomy doesn't allow those balloons to launch and I realize those are the days that I am my sadest. Wouldn't it be nice if life was easy as going up in a hot air balloon.
Almost every morning I get up, usually struggling in pain, but I at least get up and get in the car to go to work. On my way to work I drive through canyons that I have dearly loved all my life. When I start on my journey what greets me are hot air balloons. Sometimes the concept of smelling the roses is just the actual act of analysing the concept of why things are with yourself. I looked at those balloons and wondered why do they always make me happy.
Today I found the answer. There isn't a child that I have known that wasn't more excited about a balloon than the toys they may play with. Balloons are a concept of why does that balloon lift off and if I let go where will it land. The variety of colors can trigger the happy senses of anyone. Balloons were created for a variety of reasons to celebrating a birthday to actually inventing the blimp for football games.
I have flown in a small plane, a jet, I have jumped out of planes and even though you sort of get the concept of how this huge thing stays in the air, the mere volume of noise competes with your thought waves of what am I really doing up here. Hot air balloons allows you the peace, the silence and the time to allow those thoughts of why am I happy in this unbelievable understanding object to take me above the ground, above my real life, and above my problems.
My husband is afraid of planes, he will go in them, but he definitely does not like them. As childlike as my husband is, every morning when he sees the hot air balloons he screams through the house repetitively of the amount of balloons in the air. It brings us back to days of youth and folly.
The days when it is dark and gloomy doesn't allow those balloons to launch and I realize those are the days that I am my sadest. Wouldn't it be nice if life was easy as going up in a hot air balloon.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
LONG AWAITED CELEBRATION
Yes, I have been sick for about seven months now. I learned in July 2011 that something that was wrong, but the doctors couldn't put their finger on it.
In November I had a small stroke in my right eye and after seeing the doctor and believe me he wasn't intentionally trying to do this, but I panicked with his demands of trying to get more testing. The eye doctor said I had a symptom that indicated "transient blindness." He said, what happens is the plaque goes up through the retinal artery that creates blindness. Sometimes it is temporary and if it lasts long enough it can cause permanent blindness. He immediately asked for an echo cardiogram. The echo shown that I had a hole in my heart which needed further investigation.
Off to the cardiologist. By this point I had gone off any rheumatoid medicine for fear that it was causing some of the problems. Going off the medicine created major pain everywhere. I had pain from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. Unbelievable headaches, and chest pains. He did a 24 hour heart monitor, and a stress test done. The cardiologist reassured me that I wasn't going to have a heart attack and probably wouldn't have a massive stroke, but we just needed to do all the testing before we would know more. Both of them eventually came out with no problems.
I then had to go for an MRI. I remembered the first MRI I had done and it was on my neck and it was really sick to look at your own films. It wouldn't have been a problem if I was looking at someone's elses, but for someone that is not use to looking at people's insides, it is seriously sick. So in going to do this, it was scary. I was afraid of what I would find, but on the other hand I was more anxious to get answers.
I just happen to go to the sleep doctor that day and I thought I had another mini stroke because when I woke I didn't seem to have any problems, 15 minutes I am in massive headache. All he had to do was look at me, and he immediately sent me to the Emergency Room. When you go for an MRI you must outweigh, am I claustrophobic or am I not, because once you are in that machine, it truly feels like you are in a coffin. Beyond the feeling then you have the noise, it's ear piercing. They told me either find a driver for us to knock you out, or be brave and get in the D___ machine. No they didn't say that, I said that to myself, and myself finally said, get in the machine it is not going to kill you.
Then off to the neurologist to read the films. The ER told me there was nothing wrong and my MRI came out clear. When I got into the neurologist I had another melt down when she corrected the ER and said no there is definitely something on your films. When and how did it happen she had no idea. As soon as I checked in with her I knew I was in trouble. It took 6 hours of consulting and testing. Another test took another day off from work. And then the final consult. She said that the hole in the heart was medium size but didn't seem to be a problem and that she was going to put me on medicine for the rest of my life.
After being first scared to death with a mini-stroke in the eye, how many doctor appointments, testing, hospitals, and for her to tell me that it was not going to be a problem, was probably one of the happiest days of my life.
Now the pain must be treated somehow, but at least I wasn't having heart surgery, or even close to that. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAY
In November I had a small stroke in my right eye and after seeing the doctor and believe me he wasn't intentionally trying to do this, but I panicked with his demands of trying to get more testing. The eye doctor said I had a symptom that indicated "transient blindness." He said, what happens is the plaque goes up through the retinal artery that creates blindness. Sometimes it is temporary and if it lasts long enough it can cause permanent blindness. He immediately asked for an echo cardiogram. The echo shown that I had a hole in my heart which needed further investigation.
Off to the cardiologist. By this point I had gone off any rheumatoid medicine for fear that it was causing some of the problems. Going off the medicine created major pain everywhere. I had pain from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. Unbelievable headaches, and chest pains. He did a 24 hour heart monitor, and a stress test done. The cardiologist reassured me that I wasn't going to have a heart attack and probably wouldn't have a massive stroke, but we just needed to do all the testing before we would know more. Both of them eventually came out with no problems.
I then had to go for an MRI. I remembered the first MRI I had done and it was on my neck and it was really sick to look at your own films. It wouldn't have been a problem if I was looking at someone's elses, but for someone that is not use to looking at people's insides, it is seriously sick. So in going to do this, it was scary. I was afraid of what I would find, but on the other hand I was more anxious to get answers.
I just happen to go to the sleep doctor that day and I thought I had another mini stroke because when I woke I didn't seem to have any problems, 15 minutes I am in massive headache. All he had to do was look at me, and he immediately sent me to the Emergency Room. When you go for an MRI you must outweigh, am I claustrophobic or am I not, because once you are in that machine, it truly feels like you are in a coffin. Beyond the feeling then you have the noise, it's ear piercing. They told me either find a driver for us to knock you out, or be brave and get in the D___ machine. No they didn't say that, I said that to myself, and myself finally said, get in the machine it is not going to kill you.
Then off to the neurologist to read the films. The ER told me there was nothing wrong and my MRI came out clear. When I got into the neurologist I had another melt down when she corrected the ER and said no there is definitely something on your films. When and how did it happen she had no idea. As soon as I checked in with her I knew I was in trouble. It took 6 hours of consulting and testing. Another test took another day off from work. And then the final consult. She said that the hole in the heart was medium size but didn't seem to be a problem and that she was going to put me on medicine for the rest of my life.
After being first scared to death with a mini-stroke in the eye, how many doctor appointments, testing, hospitals, and for her to tell me that it was not going to be a problem, was probably one of the happiest days of my life.
Now the pain must be treated somehow, but at least I wasn't having heart surgery, or even close to that. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAY
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