I soon realized sitting in a room of 12 women that I was getting old and my friends around me were getting as old or older. Not that I don't want to be there for my friends, especially in the time of need and health problems, but I didn't have my feet in the door when everyone's health issues come flying up. I didn't even want to convey my problems, they had enough of their own. I am sure it might have made them feel better if we had compared notes, but if I had I would have to recognize that I was as old as they were and I didn't want to walk that road.
When you are young you visualize when you are old, sitting around with your friends, talking of ailments, doctors, tests, and treatments. All of a sudden one pinochle game turns into the old age ward in some rest home. I love my friends, but I think I need new young vibrant friends, that will encourage my well being not compare my ailments.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Happy Birthday To Me
Since November 2009 I have struggled with the problem of a fatty liver and a gastritis stomach. Once I hit February and learning I was CD I struggled with the gluten free issue. The GF issue sort of jumped ahead of the stomach and liver problems. It was hard and disappointing. Sometimes seriously depressing and discouraging. Now that several months have gone by I have realized there is life past the death of the pastry. But in trying to compensate for that death I was substituting with really bad eating. I found every chocolate candy bar that didn't have gluten in it, which was really bad for the liver. Even though I knew I wasn't to have corn, any ..."itos" did not have gluten in them, so I overindulged in doritos and carmel popcorn balls. I snuck berries that I knew were horrible and were like sandpaper to my stomach lining. It seemed like a consolation for no pastry.
Several times my stomach would feel bloated and the liver bulging out my side. The pain would be so intense I could hardly get to the bed little alone stay in the bed. I have realized that I can't just take care of one issue and not the other.
I have gained all the weight that I initially lost when I first got sick. Even though my legs, arms and face seem like they haven't, my waist has grown back to where I can barely fit into my pants. The doctor said if I gain my weight back or any additional weight back, my liver would get worse to the point that it would be serious enough to either be cancerous or diseased.
Emotional jolts sometimes don't come all at once. The realization of me being sick is very evident. The want of doing something about it has been a long hard struggle. When someone has said they have seen the light and changed their ways, it seems so simple and so easy to do for them, but not for me.
I am truly surprised of how determined I have been about going GF. In the last several months I truly think I have only had very few occasions I have eaten gluten and usually it has been accidental, not intentional. I think it is the thought that once I go on the strict diet for my stomach and liver, it really eliminates a lot of my food. It would be easier to just eat baby food and eliminate all real food out of my diet.
Who would think a bowl of strawberries would make you double up and almost cry out in pain. They seem so innocent of wanting to make you healthy but in reality your worst enemy. It seems the less fiber I take in the less tolerant I am to that fiber, almost like the stomach is becoming atrophied towards it. I am afraid one day I won't be eating anything out of the mere fear of being in pain.
My birthday is coming up and at first I thought I would take a gluten free cake into my favorite bakery and ask them to frost the cake to look just like the cake I use to eat, but I have now come to the conclusion that I am going to buy a small cake and just go through the pain and agony of eating it and trying to enjoy every last bite. We will have to see, Happy Birthday to Me.
Several times my stomach would feel bloated and the liver bulging out my side. The pain would be so intense I could hardly get to the bed little alone stay in the bed. I have realized that I can't just take care of one issue and not the other.
I have gained all the weight that I initially lost when I first got sick. Even though my legs, arms and face seem like they haven't, my waist has grown back to where I can barely fit into my pants. The doctor said if I gain my weight back or any additional weight back, my liver would get worse to the point that it would be serious enough to either be cancerous or diseased.
Emotional jolts sometimes don't come all at once. The realization of me being sick is very evident. The want of doing something about it has been a long hard struggle. When someone has said they have seen the light and changed their ways, it seems so simple and so easy to do for them, but not for me.
I am truly surprised of how determined I have been about going GF. In the last several months I truly think I have only had very few occasions I have eaten gluten and usually it has been accidental, not intentional. I think it is the thought that once I go on the strict diet for my stomach and liver, it really eliminates a lot of my food. It would be easier to just eat baby food and eliminate all real food out of my diet.
Who would think a bowl of strawberries would make you double up and almost cry out in pain. They seem so innocent of wanting to make you healthy but in reality your worst enemy. It seems the less fiber I take in the less tolerant I am to that fiber, almost like the stomach is becoming atrophied towards it. I am afraid one day I won't be eating anything out of the mere fear of being in pain.
My birthday is coming up and at first I thought I would take a gluten free cake into my favorite bakery and ask them to frost the cake to look just like the cake I use to eat, but I have now come to the conclusion that I am going to buy a small cake and just go through the pain and agony of eating it and trying to enjoy every last bite. We will have to see, Happy Birthday to Me.
Monday, June 7, 2010
The Hostess for the Mostess
I finally threw my first full party since being on this diet. I had baked enough to know I could make a couple of dishes and get away with it, but didn't know if they would like it.
We were hosting the neighbors behind our house for their brand new baby. They are world travelers and workers. Both of their mothers are either into catering or really good cooks. I was a little worried, but I knew they would be gracious enough not to be criticizing, but very thankful we threw this party.
So I tried to plan a tried and true menu. I made quiche with a hash brown crust, corn pudding, zucchini a gratin, french toast casserole, and blueberry coffee cake. I had assigned out to two friends, potato casserole, fruit, turkey sausage, bacon and ma moses.
I hate living up to the Jonses, and two of my friends are the Jonses. It wasn't good enough to ask for the potato casserole that I absolutely love baked by my good friend, she had to have it garnished so it was beautiful. Who makes casserole's beautiful? Then my other friend had to show up with a platter that was bigger than the whole table with the fruit garnished with edible flowers. I am lucky to know the recipes, get them out properly and make them taste good little alone make them beautiful. Whatever to you Jonses!!!!!
Everything on my side of the menu had to be gluten free because not only am I CD, but my other friend was CD. Which meant for everyone else to eat my cooking I had to make sure it passed the gluten test of tasting good. I used breadcrumbs I made from gluten free focaccia from Whole Foods in the zucchini casserole. I used a small portion of Pamela's flour in the corn pudding. I used Udi's bread in the french toast casserole. I made the recipe on the back of Pamela's flour for the coffee cake replacing the nuts and raisins for blueberries. It turned out so good people were raving. Sometimes you can't believe the raving, you have to wait for the tail tail signs of how much food was actually left behind. For 12 people and 9 dishes, most all of it was eaten. I loved it.
I love breakfast and particularly I love brunch just because everyone is so hungry by the time you eat it, it tastes so good. One day I would love to have a restaurant that makes a GF brunch that I could dive into and not pick apart by what I can and can't eat.
We were hosting the neighbors behind our house for their brand new baby. They are world travelers and workers. Both of their mothers are either into catering or really good cooks. I was a little worried, but I knew they would be gracious enough not to be criticizing, but very thankful we threw this party.
So I tried to plan a tried and true menu. I made quiche with a hash brown crust, corn pudding, zucchini a gratin, french toast casserole, and blueberry coffee cake. I had assigned out to two friends, potato casserole, fruit, turkey sausage, bacon and ma moses.
I hate living up to the Jonses, and two of my friends are the Jonses. It wasn't good enough to ask for the potato casserole that I absolutely love baked by my good friend, she had to have it garnished so it was beautiful. Who makes casserole's beautiful? Then my other friend had to show up with a platter that was bigger than the whole table with the fruit garnished with edible flowers. I am lucky to know the recipes, get them out properly and make them taste good little alone make them beautiful. Whatever to you Jonses!!!!!
Everything on my side of the menu had to be gluten free because not only am I CD, but my other friend was CD. Which meant for everyone else to eat my cooking I had to make sure it passed the gluten test of tasting good. I used breadcrumbs I made from gluten free focaccia from Whole Foods in the zucchini casserole. I used a small portion of Pamela's flour in the corn pudding. I used Udi's bread in the french toast casserole. I made the recipe on the back of Pamela's flour for the coffee cake replacing the nuts and raisins for blueberries. It turned out so good people were raving. Sometimes you can't believe the raving, you have to wait for the tail tail signs of how much food was actually left behind. For 12 people and 9 dishes, most all of it was eaten. I loved it.
I love breakfast and particularly I love brunch just because everyone is so hungry by the time you eat it, it tastes so good. One day I would love to have a restaurant that makes a GF brunch that I could dive into and not pick apart by what I can and can't eat.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)