NOT EMBARRASSED, JUST TIRED

Every year secretary appreciation week comes around. I use to brag to my daughter of how fun it was. Everyday we would get special meals or treats and usually a nice gift. Since the economy bottom out, the office has tried to cut back, but they still tried to make it special.


Several times in the last couple of months I have felt a great satisfaction of myself that I have really tried to stay on these diets. I did slide on my stomach diet when I realized I got celiac, but I really felt a great pride of doing as well as I have.


Monday came and they had a office breakfast. I immediately asked a co-worker what they were having, and she said fruit and muffins. Fruit is out on my stomach diet, and muffins are out on my CD. I knew this might happen so I brought my own breakfast of peaches and my homemade coffee cake. I actually felt like it was probably better than what the office was offering.


Tuesday would be coming with an office luncheon, and another co-worker asked if I was going to go. Of course since I had been calling restaurants before going to them about their GF menus, I called the lady that was planning the office luncheon. There was only mashed potatoes on the menu that I might be able to eat. She kept questioning if there was something she could order for me instead and all I had was visions of all the questions that everybody was going to ask when they handed me my breast of chicken without all the sauces.


I think this was the first time I actually had a breakdown of what was going on in my life. I couldn't tell if I was embarrassed or if I was pissed. After going into the bathroom, and having a few tears I realized I was just tired of trying to put up with the menus, put up with the hassle, put up with the questions from everyone, just put up with the whole thing. I wasn't irritated to just bail, but I was irritated that even the slightest deviation from the norm was going to cause a stir of questions and explanations. I have to keep reminding myself that I can have something better tasting somewhere else. That I can reward myself in some other way. It was just the fact that I am no longer the norm. I didn't care about any embarrassing factor, I was just irritated that I have to do it in the first place.


After leaving the bathroom, I calmed myself by going to another co-worker, who is worse off than me and listening to their sad sobe story to pull my head out of my own ass and realize life is good.