It's a Full Moon

The chinese people are extremely superstitious to the point that if you spit a different way it means something totally different. My kids and husband laugh at me only to the point that I do believe in the full moon. It's never just a "full moon", "it's a full moon." You ask what's the difference. Just saying a full moon is identifying the planets. Saying "It's a full moon," means you better beware.


There is a turning point in the full moon when everything is going wrong and then it turns and starts looking your way. This day was definitely that.


I got up ready to go to work and realized April 29 we were in a blizzard at our house. It was horrible. I watched the news and found out that the freeway had had a major car accident on it and the only way to work was on this freeway, past this accident. So I decided why sit on the freeway, since the news was going to go for a little longer, why not wait and watch the news for a break not only in the weather, but also with the cleaning up of the freeway.


After an extended 45 min, I thought I must make a go of it, but stupid me, once I got to the backlog of cars and no more exits for about 10 miles, I realized I had no gas. So since the freeway was now a parking lot, I turned off my engine, and started to get very nervous of the fact I had no gas, no way of getting gas, stalled behind an accident and also in a blizzard. Could I pick a better moment.


When the cars started crawling I thought how bad could it be for me to not turn on the engine, but put the car in neutral and coast down behind the semis. Did I say this was in a canyon with a 7% grade downhill. Yeah! At least I knew there was a semi in front of me that would catch my fall, but I also knew there was a semi in back of me that could have squashed me into a little pancake.


Once the traffic started up I turned on my engine and started cruising when within a few minutes everything came to a complete stop with cars flying every which way to avoid another accident. It was scary. This happened another two times, riding on fumes until I got out of the canyon, but still in a blizzard.


I immediately headed for the nearest gas station (2 hours later) and called my work to ask if it was snowing there. Disappointingly "no." Come on, they have to feel some of my pain.


I arrived at work a little before 11 and at 4:30 headed home an hour early for a cooking class that I had signed up for at the high school. A friend of mine had suggested me taking the class since it was specializing in GF. I was thrilled. I had a list of questions.


In any new class you enter apprehensively, "is the teacher going to be good, am I going to like the other classmates, will I learn something beyond what I already know..." I first arrived not knowing where the class was, but as luck would have it I met a teacher there that walked me down and around several stairs and floors until we arrived at the class. Two students, I didn't think I was that early, I swear to you the registar told me that the class was full, oh well. I sat down right next to the couple and thought why not be yourself, you can only irritate them and then never see them again.


I noticed immediately there was goodies on the table. I must admit that prior to arriving at the school, I wasn't sure if this was a demonstration cooking class, a hands on, or just what it would be like so I stopped off at the nearest gas station for a few swedish fish and a chickstick. I hated to go three hours without anything in my stomach and with this stomach you couldn't just go through any drive thru so candy was going to have to do. I immediately saw two beautiful blueberry tarts (I love blueberries), cream puffs, and an onion dip that the teacher immediately encouraged us to share. I now regretted that last swedish fish.


I hate the old cliches "I bonded with my new mates of common interest" "I felt a kinship." blah blah blah. But what I found was an interesting group of 15 people totally enjoying the night. We learned new tricks of the trade of cooking as well learning new recipes for GF.


The best part of the night was, I didn't have to explain my feelings or needs to someone that didn't know. For months I have sat down at different dinners, with a variety of groups and it comes up every time all the questions, the concerns, and exhausting explaining. On the other hand this group just knew. They all were willing to learn along with me. They knew my questions to the teacher were not stupid even if they knew the answers already. They were willing to inform me and were allowing my naive questions and answers to flow. Knowing I may never see these people or the teacher again it was easy for me to be myself and enjoy the conversation.


Kelly Corrigan that wrote the book "Lift" explained that morning on a news program that the book told about sometimes your life is like a hand glidders that use the turbulence of the air to seek a path to a peaceful flow. That is what today was like. I knew if I just got through that canyon I would find my peaceful flow somewhere. I found it in a small community ed cooking class.

My BFs

My husband and I took a little trip to Idaho to see our good friends Wonda and Kenny. Because my husband and I are quite ornery, we have very few friends that we could call really good friends. But the friends we do have are great.

Our friends from Idaho have to go 1 1/2 hours to pick us up from the airport, and then of course drive back 1 1/2 hours to go home. We think it is a lot to ask from friends that have to cook and clean their house for guests, little alone pick us up.

When we got to our friends' home Wonda informed me that she had been researching on GF, and had bought a few items for me to try out. I was so thrilled to think someone would think of me that far to try to help.

I told my 30 year old daughter how kind Wonda was and she said "that is so sweet, she has to be your new BF." It struck me so funny and juvenile and so now I refer to Wonda and Kenny as my new BF. Not like they haven't been my BFs for 20 years already.

Thanks BFs for my great weekend it made up for the bad secretary week.

GENIUS IN THE MAKING

For about two months all I have done is looking on the internet for information, recipes, and other things to help me improve. So today I got my first cook book "Gluten-Free Baking" by Rebecca Reilly.

I have decided that one day I am going to actually do the Julie/Julia movie and go from the beginning of this book and cook straight through it. Her intro was so inspiring but so intimidating. To know that you are suppose to sort of bake from instructions of a person that was raised by bakers, that she went to how many schools to be as good as she is, and I am suppose to pick up the book and try to even resemble something out that book is quite intimidating.

I would just like to cook graham crackers like she did. That is one thing I haven't really found is graham crackers. I am sure there are people out there that have actually found things to replace the norm items in the kitchen, but I am still in the making of finding things.

She made her own filo, now come on, I can barely make it to the freezer aisle in the grocery store to find filo already made so all I have to do is put filling in those little tiny pieces of pastry. For me to actually make filo, that would be something.

Stayed tune Rebecca, it might be Becky/Rebecca tuning in.

NOT EMBARRASSED, JUST TIRED

Every year secretary appreciation week comes around. I use to brag to my daughter of how fun it was. Everyday we would get special meals or treats and usually a nice gift. Since the economy bottom out, the office has tried to cut back, but they still tried to make it special.


Several times in the last couple of months I have felt a great satisfaction of myself that I have really tried to stay on these diets. I did slide on my stomach diet when I realized I got celiac, but I really felt a great pride of doing as well as I have.


Monday came and they had a office breakfast. I immediately asked a co-worker what they were having, and she said fruit and muffins. Fruit is out on my stomach diet, and muffins are out on my CD. I knew this might happen so I brought my own breakfast of peaches and my homemade coffee cake. I actually felt like it was probably better than what the office was offering.


Tuesday would be coming with an office luncheon, and another co-worker asked if I was going to go. Of course since I had been calling restaurants before going to them about their GF menus, I called the lady that was planning the office luncheon. There was only mashed potatoes on the menu that I might be able to eat. She kept questioning if there was something she could order for me instead and all I had was visions of all the questions that everybody was going to ask when they handed me my breast of chicken without all the sauces.


I think this was the first time I actually had a breakdown of what was going on in my life. I couldn't tell if I was embarrassed or if I was pissed. After going into the bathroom, and having a few tears I realized I was just tired of trying to put up with the menus, put up with the hassle, put up with the questions from everyone, just put up with the whole thing. I wasn't irritated to just bail, but I was irritated that even the slightest deviation from the norm was going to cause a stir of questions and explanations. I have to keep reminding myself that I can have something better tasting somewhere else. That I can reward myself in some other way. It was just the fact that I am no longer the norm. I didn't care about any embarrassing factor, I was just irritated that I have to do it in the first place.


After leaving the bathroom, I calmed myself by going to another co-worker, who is worse off than me and listening to their sad sobe story to pull my head out of my own ass and realize life is good.

Every day is an up or a down...

Every day is an up or a down and you hope its not both on the same day. Unfortunately sometimes you get both, oh well. The weekend was spending cooking, baking, and more cooking and baking. My husband is never sure what is going to come out of the kitchen. I don't know if I have already told you that I try to starve my husband so hopefully no matter how the dish comes out he is starving enough to just eat it.

I had my grandkids for the weekend and I was determined that I was going to please them, and I was going to try to please me. So I had my recipes all lined up and ready. What do I do as soon as I picked up the kids I headed for KFC. I haven't had KFC in months. When I first had my gall bladder out, the first thing I got sick on was KFC. The grease hit my stomach and I had to live in the bathroom for days.

I got there and immediately asked if their grilled chicken was made with flour. They assured me that it was, I just couldn't do it. I had two tired hungry kids in the car, and one tired hungry husband at home, so I just went ahead and ordered it. By the time I got home I was so hungry I wolfed down the chicken.

While I was at the doctor she gave me the things I could and couldn't eat list. One of the things that I had been eating was catsup, mayo, mustard, and many things that had distilled vinegar. Who know that distilled vinegar was processed with wheat. I became extremely sad. I felt like I was sort of getting a handle on it. I felt proud of myself that I actually was sticking with this diet as well as I had, and to eliminate one more thing was going to just send me over the edge.

I immediately got on the internet the next day and the American Dietitian Association said that distilled vinegar was being taken off the list because it had such a small amount of wheat in it that it shouldn't give you problems. The blogs from other people with really bad celiac said they still have problems. But since I didn't have the bathroom problem like so many others, I felt like I just had to add that back on my do list. So while I was at KFC I ordered potato salad knowing that it might be bad, but at least it could be worse.

The weekend was going to be pizza crust demo day. I was going to make two pizza crusts and have my husband, daughter, and son-in-law taste test so we didn't make anything repetitively bad. Unfortuantely the one they chose was the made from scratch version. I kept saying to my husband I don't even like pizza, so I think I will finish out the ingredients for him and leave the pizza to Papa Murphys and he can eat alone.

The rest of the baking was great coconut carmel brownies, along with a coffee cake to die for. The ups are when you feel that even though you can't have this or that, you can always feed your desire in some way.

Inside the Confessional

Okay today is April 14. I have been in this mess since late August. I had my, who knows how many doctor appointments, today. We went over all the tests and discussed what my options (which were none), and how I was going to deal with my diet for the rest of my life.

Why do we always look at our doctors as being our priest or confessors. So of course I started confessing all of my transgressions. I am sorry doctor for I have sinned, I had a carmel popcorn ball for breakfast for almost everyday for the last month. I know I went over the edge, but someone's got to do it, so why not me. Sorry doctor for I also had candy after candy after candy for Easter and knew I was doing wrong. She immediately informed me that sometimes you have to have a carmel popcorn ball in times of stress, just not every day and maybe not even once a week. She even confessed to me that she had a few for breakfast in her life.


The doctor answered my questions, and a lot became clear. I won't be eating much of anything for the rest of my life. Oh well, I had 52 years of eating anything and being abusive to myself. Just like all the books and internet blogs, they are very optomistic. So right after the appointment I drove down to Williams Sonoma and bought popover pans. I was determined to make every gluten free recipe under the sun and try to disgard those that I didn't like and repeat those I did, just like I was eating everything normal. This was my new normal.

I had found a popover recipe and ran home and decided I was going to make them. For looking slightly different, they actually tasted pretty good. I of course should have made some berry butter to go along, but the regular butter was going to have to do.


I decided everything goes better with a little butter. No doctor I am not having a lot of butter, just a little. Yes I am going to try to stay on my diet.

BON APUKE

I have always believed that husbands are there for one basic reason TO EAT WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE WON'T.

Over the years I have learned a few things in cooking, but you would think by the time I am 50 I should know the basics. I swear I am going to go back to cooking class before I die. The chefs on the cooking channels make it so easy.

I will now confess, I hate the stringy hashbrowns, but my husband loves them. So every once inawhile I feel like I need to make them just to please him. Stupid me. So I fried up some hashbrowns the other day and I don't know if it was the type of potato I used or what, but they turned this horrible gray color. I have since learned from recipes on the web that there was probably too much water in the potatoes when I started cooking them.

My husband loves pancakes. I knew if there was one thing my husband was going to suffer from when I took over this new diet of no wheat it was going to be the wonderful pancakes he loves. I trusted in the brand "Pamela's" for a no wheat pancake mix. I used this brand for other items and I thought they were going to come out not gritty in anyway.

So I fried him up some eggs, cooked up some hashbrowns and baked up some pancakes. He would never ever said anything bad, but I immediately could tell from the way he was chewing that he thought I had gone out to the garden for worms and dirt. Actually the pancakes had a better taste than some pancakes I had made in the past, but not as light and airy as others.

Oh well, you win some you lose some. Bon Apuke